Friday, September 10, 2010

Top 10: Disgrace To My Stereotype

There are certain things people expect from you when you're gay. Of course, we're not required to follow the labels. But sometimes, it gets a bit frustrating for me when I try to do things that should come naturally for gays and yet seem so hard for me.

Top Ten Reasons Why I'm a Disgrace to My Stereotype

I can't sing well in falsetto. My gay friends would always belt out Regine Velasquez, Mariah Carey and Whitney Houston songs when we sing in videoke. I tried it a few times and it didn't sound good. And dammit, it hurt.

I look awkward when I dance in clubs. My "dance" involves raising my arms and flailing them around while trying to shake my hips. A girl friend told me that I looked like a sleazy dude when I danced. My ex told me I looked like a monkey.

I don't know how to use make-up. Heck, I don't even know how to powder my face. I always ask someone else to put them on me.

I am always late when it comes to gossip, be that celebrity gossip or real-life. This was what made one of my friends actually tell me that I was disgrace to my stereotype. I was shocked when they told me that two of our batchmates were already together. Apparently, they had been together for a couple of years already.

I don't dress well. You'll almost always see me wearing a shirt, jeans and dilapidated shoes.

In relation to #6, I don't enjoy watching fashion TV or reading fashion magazines. I am just absolutely clueless when it comes to fashion. I watched "Launch My Line" once, and the clothes I thought looked good were bashed by the judges.

I'm a slob. My room has clothes strewn across the floor. There are coins and empty cigarette packs in every corner. When I finish eating junk food, I just put down the wrapper and leave it there until I decide to clean up, which usually happens once every week. And I sleep on the floor.

I am no good at giving blow jobs. I tire after ten bobs. My jaws start to hurt after two minutes. Um.. Yeah.

I feel really uncomfortable using gay speak. I use "friend", "teh" and "kebs" and I just recently started to use "chos", but full-blown gay speak (example from badinggerzie: Witchelles naman akey nalurkey nang bonggang-bongga) is beyond me. I try, but it is always badly-delivered.

I don't have gaydar. A person will have to tell me outright that he or she is gay. Otherwise, I won't have a clue. Yeah, even our trans friends. I always mistake them for biological females.


  1. hahaha! i so could see my self on u. :-)

  2. hahaha. ganyan din ako before moving dito sa metro manila.

    i rarely gay speak. chaka ko lang noh mother? hahaha. kailangan ko pa ng translator. :)

  3. That's just fine. You don't really have to adhere to your 'stereotype's' norms. Just be yourself. :)

  4. dumaan nakibasa at napahanga mo aketch sa iyong pagiging honest~viva~~~
    happy weekend~~~

    cinderella is bitter now ahihi~~

  5. Hahaha, this is so cute.

    Mahilig ako magsabi ng KEBS. haha

  6. We have these in common --> 9,8,7,6,5,2,1
    I think I have a semblance of gaydar.. but failed to work on this certain yeah...

    Na intriga naman ako sa #7...sino yan? TELL ME!!!

    And I like falsetto (#10) and I'm no slob (#4).
    And as for #3, ahhh, I have no experience (loooser). wehehehe, teach me??? Wahahaha

  7. hehe 2,3,8,9 pareho tayo...i can sing falsetto pero di sa mga mariah songs, pag kinakanta Maxwell or Side A...i'm with you on BJs, hayst nakakangawit, masarap lang talaga pag nagre receive ehehehe :P

  8. love this...
    im not the type of getting into the gay scenes. almost identical to #9.

  9. we're the same in almost all of these aspects. as in. feeling ko, we're relatives.

    when i was younger, i could really sing well in false voice. Angelic as some of my relatives would say. And then i hit puberty.

  10. hahahahahaha. di naman. ako pasok ata sa stereotype. isa akong classic na bakla. wahahahahahahaha.

    pero ate, yung #3... you need to work on that. kailangan mo mag workshop ng bonggang bongga. hahahaha.

  11. hahahaha this is funny in a cute way.

    at talagang na-count mo after ten bobs ngawit ka na lol

    but because we are diverse, you will never be a disgrace :p

  12. ok lang yan ako din may mga kagaya ng sau!saksakan ko ng tamad mg bj hahaha!

    i wonder how u look like on your jeans and shirts...astig siguro!

  13. ok let's schedule some dance moves lesson. free lang. ay wait sige isang grande na latte oks na. haha

  14. Hmmm, this is weird and brilliant at the same time! A gay guy blogs about his lack of obviously gay traits (OGT, got that from this film The Broken Hearted Club, go look it up). Why, you are an entirely unprecedented gay sub specie, and you have bad taste! Look, you added me to your blog roll! Ahaha, but seriously, Ex-Jason, step out of the fag box and be different. That's an advantage.

    But in retrospect, you're this dude that blogs about the boyfriend. Or the ex boyfriend. That's your gay trait. What else are you looking for?

    And lastly, Ex-Jason, thanks for adding me to your roll. Look me up, and find out that I returned the favor. I might rename you in my roll as The Blogger Formerly Known as Jason because it sounds more like that gay-adjacent singer Prince. He does this wicked falsetto like it's nobody else's business.

    Cheers Ex Jason!

  15. I can relate to you on number 8. My girls tell me that I am the most useless gay friend they ever had... In that case, I am their only gay friend... =) I once tried using make-up but I felt uncomfortable. So when I dont use pressed powder anymore... I use the lose powder which kids commonly use to prevent sweating too much... hahaha! =))

    I quite agree with Momel... =) We gays are different in so many ways... Some of us enjoy football. Not because of the boys in it but because we love the game so much even without the boys playing the game...

    Regarding the gaydar... Minsan nagkakamali din ako... Pero halos lahat pinagbibintangan kong bading... HAHAHA! =))

  16. Somehow it felt like this post wanted to convey more...

  17. di rin ako magaling mag blowjob..nakakatamad..haha..:))

  18. hahaha. TMI yung number 3. pero alam mo nung nameet ka namin ni darc, hindi kami makapaniwalang beki ka friend. lakas mo makalinlang pramis :P

  19. Hmm I am tempted to make my own list.

  20. Bwahahaha! Everyone is different, even within the community. >_^