“Who is Jay?” he asked me, his voice cold. I looked at him, confused. I had just woken up and had not yet completely collected myself.
“Who is Liphil? Who is Francis? Who is Neo?”
It was then that I realized what he was talking about. I panicked. I tried to make up a story. I was usually good at that, but that night he saw through me. He smiled weakly, said goodbye and left.
It was our last night at our college apartment. We were going to have dinner at our favourite restaurant, sleep in our apartment for the last time, and then take the bus back to the city together the next day.
“Jason, why is Dainn single on Facebook?”
It was the tenth text that day. I didn’t reply to it either. I still didn’t know what to say.
My phone rang again. Great, another one, I thought to myself.
“Hey, want to have dinner tonight? Come on, it’s long overdue. I want to meet you. -Jay”
I did not reply. Soon enough, I got another text asking me if Dainn and I really broke up. I reopened Jay’s message and read it over a few more times.
“Sure. Meet you at six.”
“Hey Jason, have you read Dainn’s newest blog entry?”
I haven’t. I wasn’t allowed to go to his blog. Or his twitter. We weren’t Facebook friends either. He wanted to keep those as his personal space.
I asked my officemate to read it. I told her not to tell me what was in there, but I knew that I’d find out somehow. “Oh my God,” she said after she finished reading. “Jason, I’m so sorry.”
I sighed. I opened my Facebook, stared at the “In a relationship” status for a while, then changed it to “Single.”
“Single. After almost three years. Hey, can we drink tonight? It’s on me.”
“Hey Jason, I heard about what happened,” Francis texted me.
“How?” I asked, surprised.
“Facebook. I’ve been stalking you for a while. Hehe. I’m sorry, you were together for so long.” God, even Francis is saying that.
“It’s okay. I’m coping somehow. It was my fault, anyway. Hey, are you doing anything tonight? I want to drink but no one here in the office wants to come with me. I really need something to distract me.”
“Aw, I can’t. I’m going to meet a friend tonight. I’ll see if I can come with you tomorrow.”
“Friend? What kind of friend?”
“Haha. A thirty-something guy. We meet up whenever he’s here in Manila. I’m staying over at his place tonight.”
I sighed and closed my eyes. A distraction. After a few minutes, I replied.
“Can I come with you?”
“Hey, can we talk? I want closure. I want to move on.” It was Dainn. It was the first time we texted after the breakup.
“I’m not ready to move on yet,” I replied.
“Then can we just fix this?”
“I don’t know what I want yet.”
It was then that Dainn said something I did not expect at all.
“Jason, I’m sorry I walked out on you. I shouldn’t have done that. Please take me back. Let’s try to work things out.”
That was when I realized that our relationship was no longer healthy for him. And it was no longer fair.
“Let’s not rush. If we try to do this while we’re all emotional, we’ll just kiss and make up right away. Then we’ll find ourselves back in this situation. Let’s talk again after three weeks. Hopefully by then, we would know what we really want.”