I have dated several guys since ex and I broke up. Dating was one of the things I missed the most while I was in a relationship. I love getting to know people. I love making new friends. And yeah, I enjoy flirting. It’s the uncertainty that draws me to the whole dating game. You’ll never know which of the preconceived ideas you have about your date will turn out to be correct. You’re also not sure if the date will be the start of a good thing or if it will be a disaster.
One of the downsides of dating for me is, no matter how much I try not to, I still end up baring a small piece of my heart. I don’t go to dates because I’m looking for a boyfriend, not at all. But that doesn’t keep a small part of me from somehow hoping good things. That small exposed bit leaves me vulnerable, and if my date discovers where that piece is, then I am screwed. But that’s part of the thrill, and the gamble will be worth it if the date goes well. it was definitely worth it when I dated my ex.
But the thing is, most of my dates lately we more nightmare than magic. I don’t know why, but I seem to have rotten luck with the guys I get.
Mr. Long Term
First, I had guys who were looking, no, craving for a long term relationship. I’m sure you know the type; the one who talks about settling down and building a home together on your first date. While it’s a good thing to know that the guy is not just after sex, it’s a turn off seeing that he wants to rush into a relationship, as if there’s a deadline that he must beat. Maybe he was just trying to come off as a keeper or maybe he was trying to show me that he was really into me. I don’t know, for me it was just plain creepy.
There was one guy who I actually had quite a pleasant dinner with. I texted him when I got home, “Hey, I had a great time. I look forward to knowing you better.”
His reply: “Me too. I hope our relationship blossoms. And I hope we have God at the center of that relationship.”
The opposite of the first type is just as frustrating. You meet the guy, you have good conversation, and you are pleased to see that he has a good amount of substance. Then he talks about fucking halfway into your date. At first you find it a turn on that he has a naughty side and you jokingly throw back naughty comments yourself. But he brings it up again not long after. You try to change the topic but he persistently brings it up over and over until it gets annoying.
At that point, you have no choice but to flat out decline. He gets the point, backs off, and you carry on with your date. You almost enjoy the rest of the date, but you remember that the guy treated you like a desperate slut.
Mr. Quickie In Disguise
Then there were those who I initially thought had great potential. I go out with the guy on a few dates and we have an amazing time together. He seems interested in a relationship, but unlike Mr Long Term, he’s not desperate for it. And he has the right amount of naughty without Mr Quickie’s depravity.
After our fourth or fifth date, he invites me to his place. I go with him and we have great sex. We kiss before I leave.
Then he doesn’t reply to any of my texts.
I mean, come on. If he had told me at the start that he was just after sex, then we could have gone straight to it. We would have been spared the weeks of pointless charades. I don’t mind meeting up for sex. It just has to be clear that that’s what we were going to meet for.
Lastly, there’s the type who treats dating like a contest. For him, there are rules that must be followed at all costs. He should not be the first to text; neither should he be the last. He will never ask you out for a date, you should be the one to ask him out. If he is ever going to ask you out, it will be spontaneous, so it will seem like he just thought of you that moment.
Basically, his goal is to make you fall for him without you noticing that he actually likes you too. Now I know that it’s called the “dating game”, but actually playing by those rules is pathetic. What’s there to gain from pretending that you like or don’t like a person, anyway? Try to play a game with me and you’ll find yourself playing alone.
Of course, they were not all bad. There were a few guys who were actually great. They were not boyfriend material (like I said, I’m not looking for a boyfriend to begin with), but they became my friends.
Just recently, one of my girl friends texted me.
“Jason, interesado ka pa bang makipag date kay Luis?”
“Oo. Bakit, ipapadate mo sakin?”
“Bakit mo bigla akong nirereto dun? Ano nangyari?”
“Kinumusta ka niya sa akin kanina. Type ka din pala niya. Mukha ka daw straight. Gimik daw ulit tayo pagbalik niya dito sa Sept.”
September daw. Ito ba yung tinatawag nilang booking? Lol.