Ampalaya 11

I’m sparing you guys from my ex dramas for now. I don’t want this blog to be uber emo, lest everyone, including me, gags from all the bitterness. So at least for now, I’ll treat you guys to a different flavour, bitterness though of a different sort.

There was a time during my early college years when my friends and I traded emo love quotes through text. I’m not really sure how or why that started; maybe we just happened to be dealing with love issues at the same time. (Wait, come to think of it, we were always dealing with love problems.) We all pretended to laugh scornfully at the messages, but we were all secretly obsessed with finding the perfect quote that would fit us. Anyway, I saved my favourites in a folder, aptly named “Ampalaya”, and I just discovered this morning that I still had that folder in my phone. It was funny reading those messages again. I remembered how “ampalaya” – and yes, how jologs – we were those days.

So I’m spreading the love. There might be some bits here that can sum up what your inner college freshman’s heart is going through, or they might remind you of how we fumbled with love when we were younger. Or, most likely, you might just laugh or get annoyed by their sheer absurdity.




1.
You’re so kind, so kind I can’t bear it
Don’t touch me. Don’t call my name in that voice.
Don’t be kind when you don’t actually feel a thing for me.


2.
Why must you torture me? Why must you keep me hanging?
Tell me, what exactly am I to you?
A lover?
A brother?
A friend?
Just a man standing at your side?


3.
How could you possibly know that things will work you between you and someone?
Well, the thing is you couldn’t.
You don’t know, and you can never be sure. But you take the plunge anyway.
Sure is for people who don’t love enough.


4.
You don’t want to be happy, you’re a drama junkie.
When there’s no drama, you create it.
When the dust settles, you kick up some more because you don’t know how to just be happy.
-Desperate Housewives


5.
Why do you always have to be so tough?
Why are you so scared of letting anyone see you break apart?
You don’t need to be strong all the time.
Let me in, break if you must. Fall to pieces in my arms.
I’ll put you back together when it’s all over. I won’t let you stay broken.


6.
I’m sorry I hurt you. I’m sorry about what I did.
But it happened.
As much as I want to take it back, to undo it, I can’t.
What you and I have is real. It’s love.
But if that’s not worth you even making an effort to forgive me, then there’s nothing I can do.
And there’s nothing left to say except
I love you, but I can’t beg forever.


7.
What’s the hardest part in ending a relationship?
Not the feeling of letting go.
Not the part of goodbye.
But going through every damn day
And having to remember it.


8.
People spend a lifetime looking for love, wanting it, needing it, seeking it, and most of the time they don’t find it.
But once in a while, once in a great while, it comes to you.
It throws itself in your lap, pounds on your door and says, “Here I am, take me, I’m yours!”
When it comes, how can you turn away from it?
How can you say, “Not now, maybe later”?
How can you not take that chance, knowing the opportunity may never come again?
- A Perfect Stranger


9.
Nasaktan ako nung iniwan mo ako.
Nasaktan ako nung sumama ka sa kanya at nung sinabi mong mahal mo siya.
Pero pinakamasakit nung sinabi mong
“Sorry, akala ko kasi mahal kita.”


10.
Paano mo malalaman kung mahal ka niya?
Simple lang: tumalon ka tapos isigaw mong mahal mo siya.
Pero pag di siya dumating, wag kang mag-alala.
Ano bang silbi ko?
Diba taga salo pag wala siya?


11.
The things we do for love:
How we are always there when they need us.
How we wait for them to call when they’re not around.
How we laugh at the silliest jokes and smile at the littlest compliments.
How we try to make them laugh when they’re sad.
How we take care of everything they need.
How we let them kiss us without asking.
How we let them stay without knowing how long they’re going to stay.
How we hug them so tightly as if we can keep them.
How we stumble.
How we fall.
The things that we do for love.
They’re always, always not enough.




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